Sunday, March 21, 2010

HOLY UNDERWEARS!


I feel genuinely disappointed that there just three, yes just three, people in this huge world that‘ve rendered their services for the promotion of the most vital garment, the underwear; Superman, Veena Malik and myself.



#Number One: - Superman, the legend, spent his entire life to create awareness in people about the power and importance of the underwear.  He wore his underwear over his pants with pride, for which he’ll have my respect eternally.



#Number Two: - Veena Malik, the chino girl, is according to underwear-enthusiasts like me the best underwear-promotion-activist. Yes! She has made the world realize the power & importance of underwear by shedding it off. Many call it nudity or polygamy but for me, it was THE ULTIMATE SACRIFICE. Her name will always be written with golden graffiti on men’s underwear.



#Number Three: - Me. Cause I’m WRITING THIS EFFING UNDERWEAR POST. Plus I’m going to publish a book titled ‘Milky Way-The underwear universe’; Respect.





Yes! I should would must write a book before I die or else the world would never be enlightened by the importance of under-wears. Actually our entire lives and careers revolve around the underwear-sciences. If you have good taste and a pinch of discretion in you, then you’re the boss of bosses.


I’m not kidding, okay? And for your information, this universe is an immense under-wear!  There you go; I just told you the biggest secret of all times. WHAT? You are laughing at me? Wait.


  
Just to imply the importance of under-wears I’d like to state a few advantages of this blessed piece of fabric.
It’s your last line of defense; which according to me, the most vital line of defense. Ever being caned on the ass? No? Ah! It’s the under-wear that comes to rescue your bums when they in grave danger. Their sacrificial nature, gallantry makes my heart go out to them.



Apart from defense, these blessed shreds of cloth help to add some glamour to life as well. How? Everyone likes nice huge & round asses. Try wearing half a dozen under-wears at a time and enjoy the compliments you get from your office mates; ‘Wow, Linda! Are you free this evening?’

  *Double-Wink*


See? So my friends, in your life, never under estimate two things; Under-wears and your poop.


They can do wonders for you. I certainly do not want to spoil the sales of my book by leaking too many underwear-secrets but as you all are my friends, I’ll share one more secret. Have you ever thought that the result of your exams might depend on the color and size of your under wears?  No? Aha! That’s why you never got good grades. I've researched for decades, smelled a billion under wears, before reaching on the decision on that under wears DO have an immense effect on your brain’s capabilities.
Yes!



 Try wearing a-tight-red-under wear while attempting a math’s paper, and loose blue one while going for your grammar paper; ‘A’ asterisk guaranteed! So I presume I’ve solved half the problems of your life by sharing this secret. I must now go and start writing the book and you guys go and book your copies in advance. The book won’t be published in conventional way; it’d be printed on a large white silk under wear.


So what are you waiting for? Book your copies right now -special discount for people ordering from Venus. 

18 comments:

suvaiba said...

holy shit mahn..!
this a holy underwear.
thankyou so much for sharing these valuable secrets . i am honored and overwhelmed..!
*tears of joy*

REALITY CHECK
gr8 post
keep up the good work
and i am from MARS so il get the book for free.. :P

FarhanJ said...

We (Boxers) condemn this blasphemy and threaten to retaliate by our own post called Underwear's Greatest Nemesis: The Boxer

:P......great post dude!

Confused Soul said...

Oh my frigging underwear...This was hilarious..

SO many secrets...ssssh keep them or people might just steal your idea :P

The Babe Of Bengal said...

Okay Hamza, what do I say? HIL-LA-RIOUS!
I didn't like the asses wala part though. Gratifying and degrading to women.

PeaceLoveandSharpies said...

DUDE I'VE MISSED YOU! D:

Do you have a tumblr? :D

Alsoalso...I don't follow cricket much, but right now, my parents are going ridonks because Pakistan just won.
And last week, there was Pakistani ditch day during the Pakistan-India match.
Unfortunately, I had to go because I had all my AP's that day. X(

As for your comment of wearing 12 underwears at a time for compliments, imagine if Linda WAS free that evening...
"Oh...what's this...ANOTHER one? Screw this. I'm getting dressed."

♥●• İzdihër •●♥ said...

LMAO !!!!!!!!!!

what a hilarious post,dude.
Follow back !

The Solitary Writer said...

funny boy!! After a long time..I am coming here..good post man..and yes Quite hilarious... :P Veena was not even wearing an UW in that magazine cover :P JK !

Baba Vaniteshwar said...

BWAHAHAHAHAHA....

Wait..

AHAHAHAHAHAHA XD

BT said...

LOL that was effin' hilarious. XD

Forget the whole "tough guys wear pink" phrase; Superman is officially a boss.

Meli D. said...

Lol!

The double wink adds total humor to the situation XD

Good luck on the pseudo book/novel!

Anonymous said...

I love you <3

Hamza Bin Ladin said...

@Suvaiba,
You are from Mars? No way.
Passport dekhao. :D
Thanks for the comment.



@FarhanJ,
LOL. Thank-you :)



@Confused Soul,
HAHA. No way, I've too many; they can't steal them all. :D
Thanks for the comment.



@The Babe of Bengal,
Oh I'm sorry that you found it "degrading to women". It was meant to be a honest advice. :S :P
Thanks for the comment, anyways.


@PeaceLoveandSharpies,
HAHA. I missed you too.
Yes, but I don't update it much. :S
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHA. You are so damn funny.
Mail me sometime, okay?



@Izdiher,
Thanks dude.


@The Solitary Writer,
Welcome back! I missed your comments! ;D
HAHAHA. My point exactly :D


@Baba Vaniteshwar,
:D




@BT,
:D
Thanks.


@Meli.D
Thanks for the luck.


@Anonymous,
I'd love you too only if you weren't anonymous.

Thinking said...

hmm...what a UN-LADY like post....good one though....

I needed the laugh....hmm....

Zayn said...

You write so stupidly good, man.

PurpleMist. said...

Hahahahahaha.
Hamza.
You are such a little weirdo :P
But I guess that's why we like you.

Thank you for making me laugh!

Sania said...

oh man!! crap crap crap!! such a huge secret and nobody ever told us?? :O
Thanx Hamza :P

Lubaina E. said...

HAHAHAHAHAHA.
I am looking forward to reading your book! :D
As soon as you write it that is.

You should read Andy Griffiths, you sound like him at times. I was just going through his book titled 'The Day my Butt went psycho' :p..

Faraz Ezazi said...

Sub Chor Yaar
Just tell me where do you get such ideas..

They are really Hilarious :D