Saturday, August 6, 2011

My Madarsa Ordeal.

First of all: What is a Madarsa? A madarsa is a persian word for school. In Pakistan, and many other places a madarsa stands for an Islamic education centre, where Islamic clerics teach Holy Quran, the scared book of Islam. And nowadays for most people, an islamic education centre means a terrorist-training camp.  


Now, five years ago, in 2006 I was lying on the bed reading some book. I was on  my summer vacations having passed my grade eight exams with flying colors. Sometime after dinner, my dad knocked on the door and walked in. This was a rare occasion. My dad does not talk to me much. Let alone drop by my room for a word. So, naturally I felt a sense of foreboding. 

Sometimes I even feel he does not love me. Perhaps of the way he looks at me with his cold, intimidating and impassive eyes. His eyes might be an x-ray machine in disguise, because each time he looks at me, I feel as I am been scrutinized by an x-ray machine.

But this is not abnormal. Dads are mostly like him here in the Indian Subcontinent. There’s an indian proverb; ‘Feed with a spoon of gold and watch with an eye of a lion’. Most south-indian dads take this for granted while bringing up their lads. They are kinder towards their daughters though.

My lion-resembling dad did not bother to sit. He just gave ominous look with his fiery eyes and roared, ‘You are going to a ‘,adarsa’ from next week! Okay? ’ And without waiting for my response, he turned around and walked out of the room.  Whoa!

I had never ever questioned my dad’s judgments; Actually I never dared to.

I had always looked at 'madarsa' students with scorn and contempt. And now my Dad was ordering me to go into one myself. This was like asking a fish to go sun bathing in the Sahara Desert, or expecting Osama Bin Laden to dance on a MJ tune in a Los Vegas club. 

Obviously, I was not ready to give in without a fight. I threw tantrums, went on a food strike, and locked myself in my room. I even considered jumping from the roof but I suffer from acrophobia so I did not dare to try that. Hence I did everything to make my dad consider. 

After a fortnight of chronic protest, I lost hope and gave in. My dad told me that all I had to do is memorize the entire Holy Quran by heart  I took this something I had to do. 

There are some tasks, some apparently unappealing tasks that at times we just have to do. There is no other way about them. And I believe there are only two ways of doing something; by making it a burden or making it a fun game, and I chose the latter.

Do you want to read a detailed account to my Madarsa life? It's quite funny, and sad =(
Vote with YES or NO through your comments!

I'd like to welcome all my new followers to Teenage Mutiny. Seeing new followers always makes my day! 

I was lying in bed last night, when I had this severely odd yet wonderful thought. What if you had to make a CV for a BV? (Bv= wife)

Just imagine. What if marriages were like jobs! Wow, it would be so much fun. Jessica for 9am -5pm, Candra for 6-9 and Emma for the night shift! 
Mere thought of part-time-wives is  'ravishing'

* Wink wink*

And the best part could be the resignation! If you needed some space you 
could go on 'leave'. 

*Stares in the space imagining all kinds of possibilities* 

PSS:- This is my favorite blogger these days. She's funny, witty and perfect. Go and follow her blog!!! Click here!


forcedmeditation said...

'I love LONG comments. Write anything, love or hatred, appreciation or criticism, as long it is long enough, I'll LOVE IT!'

Wow. You sound nearly as desperate as I am for comments :p

As for the voting, YES I would love to know what happened to you in the madressah. :P

*sorry its not long enough* :(

cricketfreak said...

What happenned in the madarsa?
I would love to know :D
Tell us ALL the juicy details.
And btw, my dad's not like that. My mom's actually scarier than my dad.

Ifra Khaliq said...

Yes tello what happened! :]

..the floodgate of feelings..:] said...

yeah sure go on with ur details:)
its interesting to know othr peoples experiences:)

Lioness Without A Pride said...

They are kinder towards their daughters though. <-- TRU DAT.

"He just gave ominous look with his fiery eyes and roared, ‘You are going to a ‘Madarsa’ from next week! Okay? ’ And without waiting for my response, she turned around and walked out of the room. Whoa! This was fresh." <-- SHE?! :P :P :P

You should blog about your life in madrasa! You should blog about everything. You should just blog.


Daaneiia said...

Yes, you shall write about your Madrasa life.

"Was that a compliment? Girls are 'known' to be beautiful. So,
Girlish face= Beautiful face."
You don't have a girlish face at all. It's just kinda guyishly intricate. Dude, I hope you get this.

*Cracks knuckles, rolls sleeves*: EPIC. We need to watch you in action. Do something :p

What if you had to make a CV for a BV? (Bv=Wife): That's one BAAADDDD idea now.

Priyanka said...

YES. I have always wondered what it was like inside an M.

Dads aren't kinder towards daughters in the first 25 years of their lives. Trust me. I know.

CV for a BV - try writing one na. We'll see how it goes:P

Love said...

listen dude for once i am not happy with ur idea of thinking wives as jobs, but honestly u r not the only one to think like this... even i think husbands were replaceable as soon as love was out and we cudnt even as much as feel genuinely happy to have someone in life... but to all i know its wrong... wrong cuz one day we all will realise there isnt anyone who can hold o0ur genuine interest for longer then a forthnight... before we find someone we are more genuinely interested in... and love wud lose its meaning... so please think of this is an evil thought instead think of ur wife as the beautiful place to take refuge after a bad day or time and when u see her all ur nightmares come to an end and leave her before u get bored of her so u can come to her always with a sense of eagerness..:P wink

as for the madrasah... i think i know wat u r talking abt... i was send to our religious school when i was mere 6 yrs old... and though u were old enuf to know how to handle and ordeal i was too adamant to hate and keep cursing everyone abt it... including my fate ... and my parrents... who i still sometimes blame for sending me to a fate that matches none and that no one can relate to...:) but i am sure with making it fun u have surely kept away from a lot that cud have effected ur life badly... and so i hope u r really never going to be close to anyone like HBL (Osamas son) :)))) i will kill u myself if u ever think abt it!:P and that is one sweet FACE... I Wonder how u will change over the yrs... :)

Amna Siddiqui said...

Yes, yes, yes :D

ateeq mughal said...

lol that's not a girlish face it's ulta triangle, and that without front teeth part was so funny,
hahahahaha, made me laugh so much that my 30 muscles burned to death.
P.S, u exercise 30 muscles when u laugh.

Maryam A. said...

I loved this post.
I sorry for you.. to be forced. But since, its for a good cause, I appreciate.

Maryam A. said...


-E- said...

wow 3-4 years just memorizing the koran? of course we want to hear about that!

BlahBlaholic ♥ said...

Yes yes yes :D Write about those days!! :D

And no,you do not have a girly face :P

Daniyal Arain said...

LOL - I completely know the feeling.

before I even got to know what happened I was in the Madarasa.
I cried and bitched that I don't wanna go, but no one really care :D

They all were like "Mashallah - He's doing a very good job" and I was like "What the mangoes"

truly it wasn't a very good experience.

The difference between my story and your story is that my father didn't came into my room and I was in 7th Grade at that time.

Quite funny how our stories match so much :P I wonder if a lot of people feel like that. :/

-__- I feel like I'm telling the sad story of my life :P/

Well anyways - good Post :|


L.F. said...

Yes, i want to know, i want to know! :D

Sh@s said...

Yes,...go ahead with your madarsa tales, am all ears. Your idea on BV- CV was hilarious.

Ezazi said...



*5 minutes later*

I have now successfully beat the shit out of him. You have no more to worry about. Any other time he disturbs you, you know where to find me. And then you'll find him at the local hospital.



Because, you know, my OTHER brother (yeah, I have one MORE brother besides the evil Faraz that you do know so well) is currently studying at a Madrassa too, becoming a Hafiz.

I think it's remarkable that one remembers the whole Quran by heart. You must have the memory equals to that of a herd of elephants. I mean that in a VERY good way. SO does my brother. I'd love to know what goes on, for my bro confesses in me little. But he's happy there, I can see that much.

How many years did it take for you, you know, the whole thing?

DO post.

And this comment is getting too long. You should hate me now.

*evaporates to tend to the injuries she inflicted on brother number # 1*

Ezazi said...

And yes, all Dads are like lions. :D

aaishah said...

YES, I would love to hear your madrassah story! Hahaha CV for a BV? Life isn't that disposable, child. :P

And you do not have a girlish face, you have a babyish face I'd say. This was not meant to be offensive whatsoever. :P

Sunakshi said...

Lol,yeah dad's are like that.Mine were very kind though. :)

CV for BV funny idea. :P

looking forward to read your Madarsa life. :)

Maham said...

madrasa story !!

bengalimishtiz said...

Would LOVE to read a detailed madarsa account. PLEEEEZ.
About your face, you sort of look like my little cousin when he was one. In short, you're cuddly :)

Nas said...

I love to read whatever you write, so if you choose to write about madrassah life, I'd be happy to read that, and not, I'd be happy to read what ever else :).

LOL CV for a BV. What would you write under experience? :P

Hope all is well man.

Furree Katt said...

i'm all for he madrassah story!

Furree Katt said...

fasting makes my mind not work properly :(

ovais said...

You madarsa students.

Never have any decent thoughts in your heads.

No, I do not want to hear about Madarsa. :p

Marriages like jobs? You are a typical madarsa boy.

Isn't one wife enough for you?

No, you are not beautiful. Yes, bring the duel. Finally, an open invitation to a rematch.. after having to wait eleven years. =D

Life,Twins,DramaQueen said...

Thanks for stopping by following you back :) said...

Yeah I would love to know. I vote yes! Dude, I have fear of heights too SO BADLY. It's not even funny. about the wife thingy LOOOL I'm not even going to bother to comment about it :p

and yes facebook is boring. Twitter is the thang.

Ridx :) said...

Madarsa? I guess its one place where students are punished, badly n I hate places where corporal punishments are it true about madarsa? correct me if im wrong :)

KN. said...

What happened after that? Did you go? Did they not let you enter Madrasa cause they.. maybe found your face a bit girlish or did they consider your CV strategy for BV a bit blasphemous? :P

WRITE MORE HAMZA!! Looking forward to your madrasa story!

P.s: And by the way, every father is like that. Lion to a son and pal to a daughter. :P

Anuradha said...

Haha, fathers are extremely kind to their daughters, it's true. Mine definitely is.

And yes, I'd love to read more about your madrasa story.

Felicity said...

lol at cv for a bv :D

Jodie-AnnDuhBawwss. said...

The part-time wife thing made me ROFL.

devorelebeaumonstre. said...


Elliot MacLeod-Michael said...

Good for you for not being a victim about it and for keeping a sense of humor. This is a seriously awesome post. Made my day.

Shama said...

hahahahahhhahahah shoo cute :)

Jyoti Mishra said...

its looks like a whole new world 4 u.... though its saddening that u r not interested in that place..

but i really like your spirit at the tend that u'll talk it in positive way.

and YES m looking forward to madarsa anecdotes..

Faryal Hasan said...

“ They are kinder towards their daughters though.”

*Raise my eyebrows*

This is SO NOT TRUE. I mean,..I mean, ….Ok, you WIN! Wait, did I tell you my father treats my brother in the same way your dad treats you? Daughters have lots of benefits.

*Mandark’s evil laugh*

OH YES, do post your Madarsa’s story. That will be interesting. Reminds me, you have spent a thrilling life, no? Madrassa, school and then your I-won’t-listen-to-you dad.

By the way, next time someone calls you girly, give him a punch or two. Also, make a video of that fight and post it on Facebook. Oh yes, that will scare people up. High 5? Tee Hee. :D

Reicha Ahluwalia said...

I don't know but i really loved this part of the post-
"His eyes might be an X-Ray machine in disguise, because each time he looks at me, I feel as I am been scrutinized by an X-ray machine." :P :P lol
lovely post..!
PS - you are so cute :)

♫♪♥PhilO♥♪♫ said...

Just came across your blog :) And I LOVE IT !!
I do want to know about your Madarsa days :)
I'm surely coming back to your blog!
Keep writing!

Faraz Ezazi said...

Hey hamza just ignore what other people are saying about your face just go to a Sale and buy a mirror and check if i was right or wrong.
I still say that you have a girlish face you MAULVI

the other side of me said...

Ohhhhh!!!!Jessica for 9am -5pm, Candra for 6-9 and Emma for the night shift! iSh..greedy guy

Look like my YES doesn't count anymore..but I'll still Say YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!

Well, i guess your dad did the right thing :P:P

and you do have a girlish face but im very sure in a few years you'll turn into a more macho guy :P:P

lucy said...

Haha, this was really funny, and kind of enlightening too! I never knew that about Indian dads, and I would love to hear what you have to say about Madarsa!

Definitely following :)

Delilah said...

And *Cracks knuckles, rolls sleeves* LOL. You are quite the funny guy!

PurpleMist. said...

Damn, you had to go to Madarsa?
My dad is very religious, so I thought at some point I would be told to go too, but that didn't happen.
Yes yes yes, I want to know about your life there :D

About the wife thing, well I'm a girl so of course I think that's bizarre and completely wrong, but I have to admit, it made me laugh :P

Nah I don't think your face is girlish at all. I don't know what made her say that :P

Yes. Facebook is EXTREMELY boring.

Stupid Cupid ♥ said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
That's just Raw said...

Wow, Hamza...! YOU ARE FAMOUS! Mubarkan =)

You are getting better and just better at narrating.

well I'll hop on to the next one now.

ishashime said...

yes on the Madarsa story please! :D
although the mariage like jobs thing would kinda suck for us girls, don't you think? haha.

Rutaba Tariq said...

Read the Madarsa story, will leave the comment on it over there.

As for the BV idea, you are calling trouble here. Not that the idea isn't creative, and quite offensive actually, its the naive little kid in you who thinks that women would actually have it like that, they just won;t. :P

Rutaba Tariq said...

Read the Madarsa story, will leave the comment on it over there.

As for the BV idea, you are calling trouble here. Not that the idea isn't creative, and quite offensive actually, its the naive little kid in you who thinks that women would actually have it like that, they just won;t. :P

Anonymous said...

Tell, Darul-Uloom boys are cute-ish and interesting. Plus, I'm a girl, I go to an after 1-hr Madrassah since I was 5. It was actually quite fun at that age, making bead Tasbeehs and singing nasheeds. Now it's all Quran but I'm used to it. Go on, share coz we care